HOW PRIDE RUINS RELATIONSHIP - SWALLOW YOUR PRIDE

Have you ever had an argument with your  spouse and you knew, with certainty, that you were right and so you refused to talk to your spouse until they conceded your victory?  Have you ever had a situation in which your spouse wronged you in some way or another and you were simply waiting for them to apologize?  The feeling that comes from these situations is pride.  This type of pride can be dangerous to a marriage.

Pride can cause one or both spouses to think that they are better than the other, or entitled to certain benefits simply because of who they are or what they have done.  Pride is a husband who refuses to help out with the housework or the children because he “works hard everyday.”  His assumption in this case is that his wife does not work as hard as he does and he deserves a break because of all of his hard work.  Pride is a wife who shares her greatest joys and fears with someone other than her husband because “he never understands me.”    In reality, pride can prevent us from strengthening

our marriage.  It can prevent us from healing in our relationship after we have been hurt (or have hurt our spouse).

In order to have a relationship that lasts, you must overcome this pride.  Do not dwell on thoughts of being better than your spouse.  After you’ve had an argument with your spouse in which you were right, swallow your pride, and be the first to apologize.  If you think you’ve had a hard day and deserve some rest, swallow your pride as your spouse’s day may have been as equally difficult or worse.

Do not let pride prevent you from giving of yourself in order to improve your marriage.

Here are a few examples of prideful thoughts in relation to marriage and relationships:

• “I am not going to apologize to her.  I was right.”
• “As soon as he realizes my point, he will apologize to me.”
• “Why should I forgive her?  She never forgives me!”
• “I am going to do exactly to him, what he always does to me.  Then he will know how I feel.”
• “I did ____________  (i.e. the dishes, changed the diaper, initiated lovemaking, etc.) last time.  It is her turn.”
• “I am not going to say thank you.  He was late getting it to me.”
  I encourage you to swallow your pride and be more loving, caring, and compassionate to your spouse.  Be the first to apologize.  Forgive even if they don’t say they are sorry.  Work at continuously improving your marriage, and don’t let your pride prevent you from moving forward.

Waju

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