After breaking someone's trust and confidence in you, it will take a lot of patience and determination for that special person to regain trust in you again. With perseverance and determination, it is possible to turn a person's disappointment in you around and make your relationship better than before.
Part 1 of 3: Convince Them With Your Actions
1
Understand the importance of trust. Relationships are meaningless without trust. It kills both the partners deep inside.
2
Blame yourself. The reason why you are having a trust deficit is only you. You have to realize and accept your mistakes before you can move forward. You need to understand that it was you who goofed up and the only one who can be blamed for it is you.
3
Don’t do it again. This is the single most important thing. If you act again in a manner which defies trust of your partner then you might do an irreparable damage. Make sure you don’t do anything which betrays your friend. Sooner or later (s)he will surely come to know and then things might go beyond your control.
4
Do it by your deeds. The only way to get back the trust is by your deeds. Your words or assurances won’t really help the situation as you have already lost your credibility. Firstly you actually need to feel sorry deep inside and understand your mistakes. Then vow not to repeat them. You need to make sure you understand how important that relationship is for you only then can you act to improve upon it. You can't again disrespect your friend and at the same time plan to gain his trust back. You have to genuinely act in a manner which would gain you the trust back.
5
Be patient. It is a slow process, and you'll have to be patient and consistent. Your patience and perseverance are determined by how important the relationship is for you in your life. There is nothing more important in a relationship than trust.
6
Be ready to sacrifice. In order to gain the trust back, you need to make real sacrifices. Like canceling something that you wanted out of consideration for the other person. Let your friend get a feeling that you are all for him/her, but make sure you don’t mention that it was for him/her that you sacrificed your wishes. Doing so may have a counter effect and undo all the process made. You need to let go of other temptations in your life.
7
Think about what you did. Now that someone has lost trust in you, you need to think about how you lost that trust, where you went wrong, and how to earn back their trust.
- Was this a one time incident, or a pattern of let downs? You may need to allow time to "cool off" before going forward. Be prepared to have all your defenses down. If you go in angry and frustrated, you will not succeed and will probably make things worse.
8
Surprise them frequently. Get them coffee, make them small inexpensive gifts, go out of your way to do things that show how special your friend is to you. Little actions such as these go a long way in showing a person that you're truly sorry for your actions and want to make amends.
9
Surrender your privacy. Give them access to all your e-mail and Facebook accounts and show them your call history on your cell phone. Show them you have nothing to hide and aren't doing anything behind their back.
- Make sure this is within reason. It is not necessary give them access to your bank accounts.
10
Limit your time away. If you have to spend time away, do everything in your power to make sure you are not doing anything untrustworthy or dishonest. Text your friend or speak to him/her frequently just to check in, let your friend know you care, and show interest in their interests.
11
Offer to make amends. Make a plan to make up for your actions. Suggest a remedy. For example, if you failed to show up for a planned movie night, offer to take your friend to a different movie - your treat. If you put someone else before your best friend, put them in the forefront as often as possible.
- Remember that not everything can be made up--at least not right away.
Part 2 of 3: Apologize
1
Show them you mean it. Be genuinely contrite and sincere. Go out of your way! Do not try to justify yourself or give excuses. Do not use "but" or "if only" in your apology and know that any attempt to turn things around on the other person will backfire. You must not attempt to shift blame to anyone, but rather accept responsibility yourself.
- If you're going to cry, don't hold back the tears. Feel free to cry. It shows sincerity and guilt in your apology.
2
Write your apology. Write a card, thoughtful e-mail or letter. If you're artistic, it can be a piece of art. Sometimes this can be easier than directly talking to the person, although it's not recommended that you use this as an avoidance tactic. However, sometimes it can be the only way if the person is avoiding you.
3
Be specific. When apologizing, detail your response. Be specific. For instance, "I'm sorry I was mean to you" is fine, but "I'm sorry I stood you up at the party. That was selfish and thoughtless of me" is much better. This helps your friend know that you understand the actual reason they are upset.
4
Resist the urge to pressure for forgiveness. Trust, once lost, is very reluctantly given again. It is a defense mechanism we all employ - once a person has betrayed our trust, we are not eager to repeat that experience because it hurts too much. If you are guilty of hurting someone in this way, do not pressure him or her to hurry up and forgive you. Gracefully accept it if they need more time.
Part 3 of 3: Move Forward After the Apology
1
Give them space and time. Sometimes the person just needs some space or time to see for themselves that you understand what you did wrong, and have adjusted your behavior to prevent the same thing from happening again. It takes time for people to see that you have altered your behavior.
2
Forgive yourself. We all break promises, do stupid and careless things and simply make bad choices. Be sure to forgive yourself if you've done all you can do. Whether or not the person forgives you, make sure to learn from your mistakes.
3
Respect your friend, but respect yourself. Nobody is perfect. If you have sincerely apologized, shown genuine remorse and changed your ways, that is all you can do. You can control yourself but not another's response. Understand that not everything is "fixable", and it may be time to move on.
4
Accept that it may not be fixable. Unfortunately, if you break trust in certain ways, it may never be repaired regardless of how long you attempt to make amends. In this case, it's best for both of you if you end the relationship and move on to one where this baggage does not follow you both.
Waju
LOLTV
Like Our FACEBOOK Page: Lots Of Love INC.
Follow us on TWITTER: @loltvusa
IG: LOLTVUSA
BBM: 7FEF21CD
BBM CHANNEL: C0027222B
EMAIL: loltvdotcome@gmail.com
+1 914 246 5948(whatsapp only)
+44 702 407 9449
+234 806 853 2991
1
Understand the importance of trust. Relationships are meaningless without trust. It kills both the partners deep inside.
2
Blame yourself. The reason why you are having a trust deficit is only you. You have to realize and accept your mistakes before you can move forward. You need to understand that it was you who goofed up and the only one who can be blamed for it is you.
3
Don’t do it again. This is the single most important thing. If you act again in a manner which defies trust of your partner then you might do an irreparable damage. Make sure you don’t do anything which betrays your friend. Sooner or later (s)he will surely come to know and then things might go beyond your control.
4
Do it by your deeds. The only way to get back the trust is by your deeds. Your words or assurances won’t really help the situation as you have already lost your credibility. Firstly you actually need to feel sorry deep inside and understand your mistakes. Then vow not to repeat them. You need to make sure you understand how important that relationship is for you only then can you act to improve upon it. You can't again disrespect your friend and at the same time plan to gain his trust back. You have to genuinely act in a manner which would gain you the trust back.
5
Be patient. It is a slow process, and you'll have to be patient and consistent. Your patience and perseverance are determined by how important the relationship is for you in your life. There is nothing more important in a relationship than trust.
6
Be ready to sacrifice. In order to gain the trust back, you need to make real sacrifices. Like canceling something that you wanted out of consideration for the other person. Let your friend get a feeling that you are all for him/her, but make sure you don’t mention that it was for him/her that you sacrificed your wishes. Doing so may have a counter effect and undo all the process made. You need to let go of other temptations in your life.
7
Think about what you did. Now that someone has lost trust in you, you need to think about how you lost that trust, where you went wrong, and how to earn back their trust.
1
Show them you mean it. Be genuinely contrite and sincere. Go out of your way! Do not try to justify yourself or give excuses. Do not use "but" or "if only" in your apology and know that any attempt to turn things around on the other person will backfire. You must not attempt to shift blame to anyone, but rather accept responsibility yourself.
1
Give them space and time. Sometimes the person just needs some space or time to see for themselves that you understand what you did wrong, and have adjusted your behavior to prevent the same thing from happening again. It takes time for people to see that you have altered your behavior.
2
Forgive yourself. We all break promises, do stupid and careless things and simply make bad choices. Be sure to forgive yourself if you've done all you can do. Whether or not the person forgives you, make sure to learn from your mistakes.
3
Respect your friend, but respect yourself. Nobody is perfect. If you have sincerely apologized, shown genuine remorse and changed your ways, that is all you can do. You can control yourself but not another's response. Understand that not everything is "fixable", and it may be time to move on.
4
Accept that it may not be fixable. Unfortunately, if you break trust in certain ways, it may never be repaired regardless of how long you attempt to make amends. In this case, it's best for both of you if you end the relationship and move on to one where this baggage does not follow you both.
Waju
LOLTV
Like Our FACEBOOK Page: Lots Of Love INC.
Follow us on TWITTER: @loltvusa
IG: LOLTVUSA
BBM: 7FEF21CD
BBM CHANNEL: C0027222B
EMAIL: loltvdotcome@gmail.com
+1 914 246 5948(whatsapp only)
+44 702 407 9449
+234 806 853 2991
Comments
Post a Comment